Stand Off

The rats seem to have gone into hiding. I'm sure they are intelligent little critters, waiting and watching me, as I watch and wait for them! For the moment we are having a stand off.

Other things have taken priority now, family and friends with health problems, and my own leg's playing up again making getting around painful again. I really need my crutches for work, but I would be so tempted to hit someone with them that I reckon that for once, work is right, and I would indeed pose a risk to others! Lots of staff have had their contracts terminated but fortunately I still have a job and at least a leg to stand on.

Scardy C(r)ats

The rats ran one way, the cats ran the other and my trainers burned rubber as I ran back inside! Can you believe it! Time for Plan C (or is it plan D?)

My elderly neighbour is not very mobile and doesn't get out much. And he has an airgun. So I'm going to hire him for the day (payment in tea and cakes) and he will sit at my window watching and waiting until - you've guessed it, no more rats! I don't know who is more excited, me or him!

We have a plan. . .

Attempting to bat the rat with a big stick didn't work on the grounds I was too scared to get THAT close. So, here's plan B. I'm going to turn the hose on the potato planter while my neighbours stand ready to throw their cats in the direction of any escaping rats.

D(rat)!

It would seem that my rats are too well fed to be bothered going anywhere near my rat food.

Drat.

If anyone is looking for me I will be standing out in the garden with a big stick. Watching and waiting . . . . .

Oh Rats!

The Scene:

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The sky was blue and the sun shining brightly on this beautiful crisp morning.

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I decided to re-pot some house plants, using compost from last years potato planter. As I dug my trowel into the soil, out jumped 10 MILLION SQUILLION HUGE FAT HAIRY RATS! O.M.G.!!! (ok, maybe 3 or 4, but it might as well have been 10 million squillion). Jeeez I screamed like a banshee, dropped my trowel and ran into the house slamming the door behind me. Mr Man ran downstairs, enveloped my shaking body in a huge hug until I was able to speak. Then without prompting he dashed out to the diy store for a bucket (yes bucket) of rat poison and fed the furry fiends. He's my hero.

Today I am . . .

. . . tired.

If you want loyalty - don't hire a lion

Yeay I have wages! In this modern age in a developed country, why do I feel so relieved that my company has paid me, for work I have done? Do I feel loyalty towards them now for ensuring I will have food on the table this month? Will I stay late for no extra pay? Do I feel proud to work for this organisation? Am I treated with respect and without discrimination? You gotta be kidding right? I'm gonna take the money and run to the nearest recruitment agency and seek work for a company who understands that treating people well costs nothing, yet pays dividends to the reputation of the organisation. Please tell me such a place exists outside of my imagination?

Sunday Quote

Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it

Lily Tomlin

True or False?

The Chief Executive of our organisation resigned today? - True

The Finance Director is also leaving? - True

I love my job? - False

The organisation is bankrupt and there is no money to pay staff wages this month? - Unknown, but I hope to God that is just a rumour. . . . . I will find out next week.

Back on Course

After so long in warp speed, I've managed to slow down my ship of life and have it (tentatively) under control. All because of a madly hyper email sent to all staff by The Boss, to which I replied "There is way to much energy in your email for this time of the week. I now need to go and lie down. If anyone is looking for me I can be found snoozing under my desk." Except I didn't realise I had replied to ALL STAFF in the organisation! Plan B was to crawl out from under my desk, leave early, come home, relax and play the wii while my boss searches the building to kick my ass.

How do you get out of Warp Speed?

Life in Planet Polergirl is really hectic at the moment, in fact if it goes any faster I might just spin out of orbit!

Neeed tooo slooooow doooown. Someone take out my duracells.

Home Sweet Home

After having been snowed in at a friends house all week the thaw finally started and I made it home last night. It was great to wake up this morning in familiar surroundings. Home. There's just no place like it.

The Story of the Strange Sink

"Quick, just nip into the gents loos, I'll keep watch outside" said my friend as I stood cross legged outside the ladies loos, which were closed.

I dashed in, did what I had to do, and came back out complaining of the strange sinks. "There was no soap, or taps, and the water just keep going on and off automatically" I informed her, "plus they were an odd shape, it was really hard to wash my hands."

Yes folks, I washed my hands in the urinals. But hey, c'mon be fair, how's a girl supposed to know what they look like - and it was (ahem) a few years ago now!

STOP LAUGHING - PERLEEEEASE!

Guardian Angel

Driving to work this morning in a blizzard, my car slid sideways and left the road, coming to rest 1mm away from a large metal pole. A few seconds later, just ahead, a car pulled out of a junction in front of a van unable to slow down because of the ice. Only their vehicles were damaged, thankfully the people inside were ok. And I thought to myself, if I hadn't slid off the road, I would have been between the two.

I just phoned work to tell them why I couldn't get in, and they informed me I wouldn't get paid today. But hey ho, I'd rather be safe without pay than take more risks just to get there.

Sheesh!

It was all going so well. And then. . .

My boss ran around like a headless chicken. I forgot to wear colours other than black n white. I gotten another 2 (yes TWO) formal complaints against me for being "too realistic" when complaining on behalf of patients in the hospital. (Jeez I feel so passionate about patients recieving a quality of care). And then, too top it all, I came home a different way, got lost and ended up at Waitrose asking for directions and buying Vodka (which I've now drunk) hic.

Jeez. I really want to be up a mountain with my man admiring the views. Instead i'm in purgartory cause I can't keep my big mouth shut. (Thanks D - ya taught me well!)

New Year Resolutions

Did you make any? This year I will (note the positive 'will' not 'want to'):-

• Be more positive
  .
• Get fit


• Introduce more colour into my wardrobe


• Be better at keeping in touch with people


• Look after myself
  
  So today back at work I :-


• sent an email telling our partner organisation how crap they were - (but added that I was confident they had the ability to improve),


• walked round the shops TWICE at lunchtime


• wore a pink shirt


• chatted to my friends on the phone whilst


• eating chocolate.
  
  All in all a good start to the year.

Happy New Year!

New Year, New Hope, New Opportunities, New Beginnings, New Dawn, New Day.
May it be a good one for all of you my friends. You deserve it.

Don't Look Back . . . Oops I Just Did!

The only way on from 2009 is forward. Out of the darkness and into the light. It has taken me an hour to write that sentence as I cannot find the words to describe the year it has been. Instead, here is a summary:-

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January
A simple day case hospital procedure went drastically wrong due to the surgeon's error, and left me in intensive care fighting for my life. To the surgeon involved I have to say "I despise you with a passion. I despise the way you treated me throughout, and I'm gonna sue your ass so that you will always think twice about the way you treat patients in the future. I am worth more than you will ever know.'

n

February

I was still on morphine, had developed hepatitis from my blood transfusions and had a 14cm blood clot in my abdomen. On a positive note some Very Special People came over from America to visit and that cheered me up. (Thank you - you know who you are).

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March

Still on morphine and admitted again to hospital for complications. 1 week after being discharged, and still feeling ill, I joined my friends for a week in the English Lake District. Through sheer willpower and determination I managed to haul my broken body up to the top of a hill. I felt really close to God that day. It was one of the best days of my life.

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April

I needed to get away for a while, on my on, somewhere remote and in nature. So I bought a tent and headed up a mountain for a week. The stars were brighter than I have ever seen. Some people said I must have been having a breakdown, and in a way maybe I was, but when I came back everyone commented that my spark had returned. I was coming to life once again. It was the right thing to do.

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May

Mr Man and I headed to one of my favourite places in the world. The island of Iona. Beautiful, peaceful, spiritual, wild, rugged, remote, tranquil and rejuvenating.

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June

I deleted my blog, I suppose it was a way of trying to get rid of the past and the horrible things that had happened during the year.

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July

I said goodbye to my best friend, it was hard and I still don't want to talk about it. I started this blog. Blogging is therapeutic. It provides me with a place to dump stuff out of my head. I farted in a job interview - and got offered the job!

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August

My job offer was withdrawn on the grounds I might need to use crutches, and their policy does not allow people to use crutches above ground floor level! I fought this and took it to the Human Rights Commission - and the job offer was reinstated. (Yes I wanted to tell them where to stick it, but frankly I needed the money).

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September

I finally started my new job, after having to sit and a fake desk to do a fake fire drill. I told them I was too busy sending emails on my fake computer to respond to the alarm.

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October

I learned about 'popping the cork' and still smile thinking about that day.

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November

I made an impression at work - as my knickers flew across the office. Mr Man and I also climbed a few mountains in the English Lake District and I felt on top of the world.

,

December

I always find December a difficult month, and this year was no exception. I spent 2 weeks off work with a serious chest infection and then snapped a tendon in my ankle. On the days I have been at work I am mostly in trouble for a) using my crutches (they're banned apparently!) b) insolence (for not carrying a ladder in my pocket) and c) for generally not getting my knickers in a twist like everyone else (mainly on the grounds that they flew across the office!)

,

2009 will be walking the plank courtesy of Captain Morgan and his crew. Cheers!

Balance

Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance.

m
Brian Tracy

Sweet Tidings

I'm sooooo excited I've had a fab day with family and friends eating chocolate and ice-cream and chocolate and cake and candy and turkey and custard and crisps and chocolate and sweets and played gamesanddrankwineandnowIthinkI'vehadonesugarrushtoomuch!!!

I Went Into Work Today . . .

. . . With my crutches. Oooh what a rebel! Chaos ensued in the office as about 20 jobsworths ran round in a panic not knowing what to do. I sat and ate chocolate and drank tea watching as though an outsider. After several hours common sense prevailed as one of the legal team came in and fought my corner. What a waste of taxpayers money. The chocolates were very nice, I'm probably 2lbs heavier and by the time it was sorted, it was time to leave for the holidays.

Happy Christmas / Happy Holidays Everyone! Thank You for all your support this year, it has meant a lot.