Sunday Quote

It is never crowded along that extra mile

Wayne Dyer

Christmas Come Early

Whilst window shopping to pass the time while my car was in the garage today, I saw lots of Cadburys chocolate Xmas tree decorations at half price. They called my name. Loudly. In fact so loudly they shouted 'if you don't buy us we will die a horrible death in this window of woe!'

So I came home, put up my Xmas tree and decorated it with chocolate. All I need now are a few friends to come over and help me do what is supposed to be done. . . with chocolate. . . anyone want to help me out?

Things not to do at Work

Conversation today with a colleague as I was exiting the ladies loos and she was going in:-

Colleague: "This is the only damn place I can escape to without The Boss giving me more work. Even then I half expect her to poke her head over the door and say 'can you just do this. . .' "

Me: Oh well, at least you'd be in the perfect position to do this (pretended to pull down pants and moony with relish).

She quickly dashed into the loos just at the moment I turned round to see Someone Very Important standing right behind me. Oops.

Ghostly Encounters

I've seen a ghost in my house. An elderly lady (identified by my neighbours as the previous occupant). She is very inquisitive, apparently friendly, but I tell you, she's scared the bejeezus out of me! I've also heard footsteps and felt an unfriendly 'presence' in one of my rooms. It doesn't happy very often, maybe 2 or 3 times a year, but when it does my house is more lit up that Blackpool illuminations as I keep all the lights on, and torches, just in case!

I recently met someone who said they can 'clear' houses. I need time to think about this because what if a) they annoy my ghosts and make them turn nasty, b) don't 'detect' anything and tell everyone I'm imagining it c) open the channels for lots of other unwanted 'visitors'.

*IMPORTANT INTERRUPTION*

I'm typing this listening to my ipod, to Robbie Williams - an album I've nearly worn out I've listened to it so much. Suddenly Robbie has started singing about Sooty sleeping with Sue!!!

Has the ghost taken over my ipod?
,

(Polergirl rushes off to google whether Robbie has sung such a song)

Phew, I'm not going mad, my ipod hasn't been taken over by a deranged ghost - it's apparently a hidden track which has remained hidden until today for me! Weird. Gotta go and lie down now.

Oh, I meant to ask if any of you have had any ghostly experiences? (That was the purpose of this post!)

Yin / Yang

I've just spent a fantastic week in the beautiful Lake District. Then today returned to work to the announcement of potential job losses (I've only just returned to work after a year off ill!)

Last week I climbed a mountain and felt on top of the world. Today I had to see a physiotherapist as I'm struggling to walk because of my gammy leg.

My overdraft contains half the national debt, but given the yin / yang principle I reckon I'm next in line to win the lottery!

Sunday Quote

Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do.

Head in the Clouds.

It’s often been said that I have my head in the clouds, and yesterday I did for real. Above them in fact.

Standing on top of a mountain looking down on the clouds below, I knew I was close to God.

Home in the Hills

The fleeting hour of life of those who love the hills is quickly spent, but the hills are eternal. Always there will be the lonely ridge, the dancing beck, the silent forest; always there will be the exhilaration of the summits. These are for the seeking, and those who seek and find while there is yet time will be blessed both in mind and body.

A. Wainwright

Beware of Low Flying Knickers!

Rushing to my desk late yesterday morning, I threw down my bag and time turned into s.l.o.w. m.o.t.i.o.n. a.s. m.y. k.n.i.c.k.e.r.s. f.l.e.w. o.u.t. a.c.r.o.s.s. t.h.e. o.f.f.i.c.e. a.n.d. l.a.n.d.e.d. i.n. t.h.e m.i.d.d.l.e. o.f. a. b.u.s.y. c.o.r.r.i.d.o.r!

Keeping my head down I rushed-over-to-pick-them-up-hoping-(like-a-child)-that-if-I-didnt-look-at-anyone-they-wouldnt-be-looking-at-me.

Then I sat down and proceeded to switch on my computer. My eyes did not leave the screen for the next 8 hours.

Hopefully nobody noticed? (Don't ask, just don't ask!!!)

Fresh Air & Fireworks

Wrapped up warm around the bonfire, drinking mulled wine and Baileys hot chocolate, watching the fireworks light up the sky.

That's what I will be doing tonight.

j

Much more fun than office fireworks.

Weary Wednesday

Imagine a world where the major city hospital has no empty beds, patients are lying in the corridors, and ambulances are queued up outside unable to take patients in because there just isn't room.

Imagine a world where there is not enough electricity to meet the needs of the city.

Imagine that city has a power cut, and the hospital has no power for more days than one.

Imagine what will happen to those patients. Just imagine.

Your imagination is my reality. Welcome to my world. Sigh.

Hospital Humour

Who's the coolest guy in a hospital?

The ultra-sound guy

Who takes over when he's on holiday?

The hip-replacement guy!

An old woman stopped me in the street and asked me to show her how to get to the hospital.

So I pushed her under a bus.

The other day, an attendant stopped me in a hospital car park to tell me, "You can't park here. It's badge holders only."

I replied, "But I have got a bad shoulder."

It took Harold Shipman from 1971 to 1998 to kill around 250 patients.

Stafford Hospital managed to kill 400 patients in 3 years. I see that the promised efficiency improvements in the NHS are finally coming to fruition.

I won't hear a bad word said about the NHS.That because I have an NHS Hearing-Aid.

Sunday Quote

The longest journey is the journey inward.

Dag Hammerskjold

"Popping the Cork"

Today I learned about 'Popping the Cork' (aka man constipation)!

I apologise sincerely to my very good friend for crying tears of laughter, as you described your tears of pain (teehee). The way you (rather too graphically) described your pain and suffering as you did everything within your control to 'pop that cork' only to find the 'cork' was shy and would shoot back up into the comfort of darkness and the first sign of daylight (hahahahaaa snort!)

When you told me how you screamed in pain, and half expected the neighbours to phone the police, I am truly sorry for falling off the chair laughing. (Rolls around on floor clutching sides).

But I think I owe you the biggest apology of all for laughing loudly and uncontrollably, drowning out your sorry tale, when regaled the part about phoning your mate for assistance.

I have to end the story now. (Heads off to compose myself HAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!)

iPhone. iPod Touch. iM Confused!

Does anyone out there know anything about the iPhone or iPod Touch? I've googled and read and read and googled but don't really feel any the wiser! Why would anyone pay such a huge amount of money for a mobile phone in the iPhone? Or is it really a high tech computer with a phone functionality? Is the iPod Touch the same as the iPhone but without the mobile phone bit?

iM confused. . . (scratches head and ponders awaiting your wisdom)

Imagine . . .

Feeling the silence wrap around you like a comforting blanket

Breathing in air so fresh that your whole being feels cleansed

Watching the world below gently appear through the dispersing mist

Seeing a new dawn rise over a new day through the valleys below, and knowing that the world is indeed a beautiful place

It's nearly November, but in a few weeks time I will be up a mountain doing exactly this.

No Win No Fee

It's official - my new lawyer has agreed to take on my case on a 'no win, no fee' basis :-) I am hoping the hospital will settle out of court as they have already admitted clinical error.

It can take years to reach a settlement . . . but I am prepared to wait.

Sunday Quote

I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry. And I know you do the same things too, So we're really not that different, me and you.

Colin Raye

Streak in Leek!

The Scene: Mr (conservative) Man and I sitting in Noisy Restaurant.

Mr Man: Do you want to streak in Leek?

Me: Erm... pardon?

Mr Man: It sounds fun, let's go and streak in Leek?

Me: Won't it be a bit, like, cold?

Mr Man: (Stray kid appears and whacks him over the head with a balloon) We could really scare the kids!

Me: Mmm yes you certainly would (stray kid crawls under our table). But is that legal?

Mr Man: It's becoming more appealing by the minute (kid bounces out from the other side of the table and frantically whacks Mr Man about the head with balloon before running off). I reckon we should do it.

Me: (Now very worried and looking for the exit).

Mr Man: You don't sound very enthusiastic, go check out this blog and then decide. . .

Same Room, Different Worlds.

I sat in a room full of people today. All professionals within their fields, brought together in an attempt to promote joint working and improve services. Each person believed the service they delivered was the best, and seemed to look down own everyone else.

I felt like an outsider looking in from another world, seeing 100 pieces from 100 different jigsaws, all part of a bigger picture that could never be formed because the peices were all jumbled up in the wrong box. Yet I could see the picture on the front of the box in full clarity. I think I was the only one.

The Otter Side of the Story

Meet Monty, the cute Otter sent to me all the way from Monterey Bay, California.

Every time I look at Monty he makes me smile. He reminds me of good times, shared with special people in a very special place. One day I will return to Monty's homeland and share some more special times. One day. Soon . . .

These are some of Monty's favourite things:-

Game: Monotterly (he wins EVERY time!)
Movies: An Otter and a Gentleman, Miss Potter
Biscuits: Otter-ios
Game: Lottery
Hobby: Pottery
Climate: Otter (as opposed to colder) climes
Smell: Rottern fish

I'd add some more, but I've forgottern!